for whatever it's worth, i've been looking at and putting junk on this thing since I moved to Oregon.
without really showing it to anyone.

woops.

hey guys.

My first incendiary Facebook thread, or, YELL AT ME WITH BAD GRAMMAR

Here is the quote from a Lindy West that I posted:

“To put it simply, I AM TIRED OF TRYING TO EXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT. Especially “jokes” like MacFarlane’s, which, to the layperson’s ear, barely register above microaggressions (if the kind of people who see no problem whatsoever with “We Saw Your Boobs” were the kind of people who used the term “microaggressions”). I am tired of trying to have an intellectual discussion about dog-whistle sexism in a culture where prominent politicians are still trying to grasp what rape is, and in a world where little girls are shot in the head because they want to go to school. Asking people to think critically about some hacky jokes from a dancing cartoonist? You might as well wear a sandwich board that says, “Yell at Me With Bad Grammar.” I am tired of being called a shrieking harridan for pointing out inequalities so tangible and blatant that they are regularly codified into law. I am tired of being told to provide documentation of inequality in the comments sections of a website where a staff of smart women documents inequality as fast as our fingers can move. Like, you might as well write me a note on a banana peel demanding that I prove to you that bananas exist. I am tired of being asked to “cite sources” proving that sexism is real (that RAPE is real, even!), because there is no way to concisely cite decades and decades of rigorous academia. Allow me to point at the fucking library. We can’t cite “everything,” and our challengers know that. It’s an insulting diversionary tactic, it’s an attempt to drag us all backwards, and fuck it. Do your own research like the rest of the grown-ups.”
Lindy West, “Sexism Fatigue: When Seth MacFarlane Is a Complete Ass and You Don’t Even Notice” on Jezebel.

Responses: that, yes, I took the time to copy & paste, grammatical and typographic errors in place because I find them to be a pretty good example of what Ms. West is talking about:

JL: "Sth macfarlane is funny as fuck and nobody flipped out on Dave Chappell for his racial humor so in my intelligent and insightful opinion, having been raised by feminists and political activists, people need to chill out and have a laugh. This man's jokes have do not encourage rape and his career is in no way related to anybody being shot in the head. Way to steamroll over a perfectly valid, simple statement like "sexism is wrong, equality is right" with a bunch of ranting and over the top personal attacks. Anyway, that's my layperson's thoughts after intellectually listening to this woman ruining a good point. Yay for Ted and Family guy and anything that pisses people off who are too uptight to get a joke."


BPC: "my biggest problems with mcfarlane's humor is that it doesn't mean much of anything. it is blatantly offensive with very little insight. dave chappell's humor obviously focuses on race a lot, but he is black in a racist ass country. how could he not focus on race? also, his "racial humor" is very poignant, and contains a deeper social analysis of race and what it means in america. i would say a similar thing about louie ck. he talks about race and gender a lot, but it is mostly in the context of saying how fucking absurd all of his privilege is and how fucked up the world is for giving him (a straight white male, like mcfarlane) a ton of social benefits he in no way deserves. these benefits, he points out, come from specifically from the oppression of other groups of people (women, people of color, queer folks, the poor...). in other words, he frequently addresses that straight white men would not be the ones ruling the western world if those who were not straight white or male were not being marginalized and oppressed. mcfarlane's humor does not address these things. it just says racist, sexist, and homophobic things to shock the viewer, with no greater analysis of what they mean."


KC: "To uptight to get a joke" is one of the many battle cries of the oppressors. What's next " I know lots of women who think its funny" or one of my personal favorites " I know I a (woman/POC/other oppressed person) so I'm not apart of the problem". Seriously? You're dictating to a person of an oppressed group how they should deal with their oppression! You as a member of the privileged group will never fully understand what it is like to survive day to day life living with this kind of oppression. Don't you see the harm of further trying to invalidate and silence the women around you? That's all I'm gonna say, can't correct every mansplainer…"


JL: "Seth m makes a lot of fun of how privileged white men are, that's a huge role in all of his humor. Beavis and Butthead also liked making fun of the fact that the average viewer is too stupid or uptight to understand when a tv show is making fun of them. I think that angle of things also flew over some people's heads here. But whatever, my view on life is bitch about the dangerous stuff and laugh about the stupid stuff. There are multiple interpretations to all humor, as with everything. Ever meet a white power idiot who thinks e movie American History X is pro white power? Stupid/scared/sensitive people always can find ways to turn harmless things evil, and that is harmful. I'm gonna go laugh at family guy now but maybe I just enjoy the show because I already I like to spend my time laughing at the stupidity of human nature and society instead of reaming others for getting the irony. Anyway I hope I'm connecting more dots than just disagreeing but Seth macfarlane makes the same comments that Louis ck does about his white male privilege, however he does it in a way that is clever enough to piss off a bunch of people who can't even watch the material long enough to get where the root of the humor is because he has disguised it so cleverly. Like Matt stone and trey Parker with South Park. Ppl didn't get it. Tom green, same thing. The joke is them being paid to go on tv and say "you are all fucking stupid enough to pay me for telling you this in a way you can't even understand". So seriously this lady should be ashamed of herself for taking an entertainer who doesn't promote hate and drawing connections for stupid people to some girl getting shot in the head. If that isn't praying on white guilt-ridden knee-jerk political wannabes I don't know what is honestly."


JL: "Hahaha Kate hahahaha ok you poor starving Ethiopian I apologize omfg that was great I just read it haha yeah Seth macfarlane is responsible for children being shot that's a nice progressive fair stance to take, i give up you are all right and we have canines to chew on leaves also. Jesus people are too shortsighted to win their battles I am truly sorry for that"

JL's comments never showed up in the thread because he deleted his FB account for an afternoon. But, reactivated to check in a leave one last gem before "un-friending" me.

JL: "I didn't delete shit besides my Facebook profile to avoid reading sorry ass threads like this but if that deleted these comments I guess I'll leave my dumb comments up assholes. Grow a sense of humor, eat some meet, shed your white guilt, I'm from Oakland bitches, west side. Criminalizing entertainers and stripping first amendment rights is stupid and socially irresponsible and dangerous, chew on that you fake-ass wannabe political because its cool right now hipster douchebags. Guy who keeps it real and doesn't tiptoe around on eggshells, out. Transgender bathrooms are also dumb, HA! Also, I haven't tried to invalidate or silence anybody, you are doing that so you are a hypocrite and overly-sensitive. I've done enough work on these in person, you'd get a lot more done if u quit bitching and crying about non-hateful satire comedy. Delete that, ya fucks! Don't call me a fucking oppressor either u don't know shit about me ya fuckin shithead"

And finally, I leave you with this: How to Deal with being Called Out.

Oneonta creek/ Triple falls

Hiked in from the Multnomah Falls trail, headed east on what I think was part of the Gorge Trail and met up with the Oneonta trail. We beat the weather!

Bridge at the top of the frame in the next shot.

Triple Falls

top of the falls...

 looking down...

a ways in on the trail...

morning perch.

turns out

 sometimes, you know which shot is the best one, even before reviewing them. after getting to look at all the snaps i took from the Burials show the other night, this one is still my favorite. 

Some seed in me,
Some troublous birth,
Like an awkward awakening,
stirs into life.

Terrible and instinctive
It touches my guts.
I fear and resist it,
Crouch down on my norms, a man’s
Patent assurances.

I don’t know its nature.
I have no term for it.
I cannot see its shape.
But, there, inscrutable,
Just underground,
Is the long-avoided tatency.

Like the mushrooms in the oak wood,
Where the high-sloped mountain
Benches the sea,
When the faint rains of November
Damp down the duff,
Wakening their spores—-
Like them,
Gross, thick and compelling,
What I fear and desire
Pokes up its head.
— William Everson, Seed

Vik

What it looks like in the clear:

photo: Tim Bergenhenegouwen

 What it looked like when I was there, post white out storm, in 2008.

photo: me. 

Terwilliger Hot Springs/my heart of sulphur...

It's about a three hour drive in from Portland to this end of the Willamette National Forest, but the drive along the McKinley River is one of the best I've seen in Oregon. Hands down. SO worth the drive. The fee is six dollars, and the springs are clothing optional. Photography is not allowed, of course, unless permission is granted from your potentially naked soaking neighbors. I obviously didn't include any strangers in my snaps. Bringing plenty of water is advised as the hike in is no big deal, but soaking for a while can make you a little woozy.

I was so pleased to be there while some snow remained on the path. It was really beautiful. I was also pleased to see that people seem to take care of this place- no trash lying around on the way in or near the springs. 

Cougar Reservoir 

they're back there….

We made it.

at this moment, random greg, was trying to make me smile buy saying he had a small penis. 

path out.

feets

a very satisfied Dust.

driving out...

standard issue

new year headless self portrait.

new years prayer, er...

when i go to collect memories and best of’s for this fading year,
all the amazing music i’ve heard, the places i’ve taken breaths, the moments that have stolen them… all that comes are the faces of people who were next to me, the colors of the sand, the rocks, the leaves….the piercing cold of rivers, the pressure in my ears, my dirty hands and feet, dog-eared pages and underlined instants, the absolute rumble of giggles from huge hearts and tiny hands, smoke drenched everything. salt stains. crying with loved ones & strangers, especially the strangers, and letting tears fall, while scribbling notes in the dark because i don’t really have a choice. the high pitch ringing, glances and squeezes that say way more than i’ll ever be able to, laughing at my own voice crack, burns and scars and torn fingernails and way more love than i ever expected… i guess that’s the only list i have. and endless amounts of gratitude for all of it.

for unrealized potential. for introspection. for ideas that never stop rattling. for the fear of it all. for wanting all of it and not taking. not asking for a thing. for too long . for inspiration in the middle of the dark daytime. for forgiving myself for forgetting my camera but still seeing beauty. for remembering my pen.
for repetition. for daily tears. salt water stained pages. for practice. for intentions and new spaces. for pretend. for dreams that mirror reality more than m days.
for writing in the dark. for gentle intuition.

free write after being asked for feedback

...i’m struggling with what reaches me and what doesn’t and how one set of images paired with a certain set of line breaks sends a chill through my fingers and with another set I’m struggling, fighting my left brain to just receive, to let it happen.

i suppose I’m out of practice.

and yet.
poems in my pockets and up my sleeves and how very silly it seems to still be writing about you and us
about how once, we took two ferries just to see where we’d end up
after spending the morning scrambling eggs and pushing the French press into the sand and sunburning our backs but being totally unaware because we cooled off in the atlantic and about how this never, ever, seems to be just a memory to me.

catching myself off guard and out of breath, my favorite things
it’s midnight and here I am, remembering how this works,
this is not just a voiceover....

swoon

still want to get one of those tattooed behind my ear. sorry mom.

i met this headache at work last night, right around six. i told it i didn't mind that it hung around for a little while, but i was busy, and had other things to attend to. it stayed, and asked to come home with me. i told it, only for a while, i had things to read. it lingered on into the night; it didn't ask if it could stay. i told it, you can stay the night, if only you let me sleep, and promise to leave before i wake in the morning.
it was still there in the morning. and it didn't even make me coffee.