perpetuate.

From behind the counter...

I noticed her when she walked in, staring at the menu with ankles crossed and knees locked, wavering just a little. She was folding the bill in her hands over and over, tilting her head. It was hard for me to tell just how old she was. I'm guessing anywhere from nine to thirteen. Obviously starting to have a changing body, but her round little girl face betrayed the process. A woman that seemed to be her mother walked in, giving her something like a coupon, and they had this lovely little smile and hug. The warmth between them was pretty cute. I stopped paying attention to them at this point because they weren't quite ready to order, so I was basically just staring.

At some point, the whole family came in to the shop and ordered some drinks. The girl ordered some big blended thing with whipped cream (of course she did, she's a little girl!). When she scooted up to the counter to pick up her treat, her dad yells, "How many calories are in THAT thing!?" He's obviously joking. Poking fun. Being that goofy Dad. His daughter gasped, went after him playfully, smacking at his arms and saying, "You shut your mouth!" I could tell this was a regular exchange. But when she returned to actually pick up her cup, her demeanor had changed. She wasn't excited for it anymore. She was self conscious, head down, sheepish.

This man has no idea what he's doing, and in all likelihood, neither does his daughter. Women (and men) have and will continue to grow up fighting all varieties of social norms. A quote I read yesterday: "Be aware of and challenge the cultural messages that harm you in order to embrace the ones that heal and sustain." But I feel like this should be extended. We should be aware of the cultural, social, and familial messages that harm us. We should be aware of the things we say to our children. The things we say to our friends. We need to support each other, promote each other, instead of put boxes around each other.

[Quote from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jane-shure/natalie-portmans-black-sw_b_807152.html]